I constantly torture myself looking at phalic surgeries and such because I don’t know how my boyfriend would feel about it.
I love him, I love him more than anyone in this world but I don’t know if I can deal with with my gender issues. I’d hate to loose him over that but I really have to make the choice on day if I’d put relationship on hold for my boyfriend
I mean, I’d never tell my folks. I don’t want to deal with them and emotinally it’s easier to never tell them as long as I love. But my boyfriend. I want him to see my body, he was one of the first people in a long time to help me love my body again. I want to be happy gender wise, gender presentation wise and him being okay with it.
I already have problems with my ovaries. I had to take a pregnancy test to make sure but I wanted to make sure wasn’t pregnant but now I”m sure my ovaries are fucked up and I just want the whole system gone.
I know exactly what I want. I’ll keep my body shape but I want small breasts, I want my clit into a penis but I want to keep my vagina opening. This is what I want and I want him to be okay with that.
I guess I should talk to him about that one day.
I really don’t want to